One of the most challenging professions you can get into is the industry of Public Relations. The challenge isn’t necessarily a physical difficulty, but a psychological one. PR people, sometimes referred to as “Spin Doctors”, are responsible for preventing any type of damage to their client’s reputation. They possess the linguistical talent to sway you to believe whether something is right or wrong, powerful isn’t it.

For example, if a celebrity was arrested for drinking and driving, then it would be up to the spin doctor to persuade the public that it wasn’t the celebrity’s fault, it was because of all the pressure from the paparazzi that influenced this celebrity to alcohol addiction. The celebrity goes to a rehabilitation center and the blame is now turned around to the paparazzi, even though it was the celebrity who was drinking and driving in the first place. Just recently, after Kanye West’s little blunder, his “Spin Doctors” probably advised him to put the blame on his mother’s passing. It didn’t do that well, but it did take some heat off of his stupidity. Wait a few months and everyone will love him again.

Another great example is from the movie Thank You for Smoking. This is an awesome movie about a guy whose job is to defend the tobacco company’s reputation. Not an easy task, but he manages to do it.

Most of you reading this have no use to hire your own “Spin Doctor”, but learning how they do it can take you out of the most difficult of scenarios.

Never Directly Disagree

People will challenge your ideas, concepts, products, beliefs etc, but you should never directly tell them that they’re wrong. Here are some phrases to use when someone says something to you before you shift the conversation:

• That’s a valid concern
• That’s right
• I agree
• That’s true
• I can appreciate that
• you’re right
• I understand
• you’re absolutely right

Example 1:

Them: “You have too little experience for me to give this job.”
You: “That’s a valid concern…”

So whatever it is the person is accusing you of, acknowledge it, repeat and then continue…

Starting your “Spin”

Here are phrases you need to use after you acknowledge them for what they said. These phrases will allow you to make a smooth transition from something pointed at you to persuading them to believe what you say is actually right:

• So what I hear you saying is…
• What I sense….
• So if I understand correctly, you’re saying…
• What I think your feeling is…
• What I’m noticing you say is…
• What it sounds like your saying is…
• What it looks like your saying is…
• I believe that you’re really trying to say…
• Sounds like to me that you’re…
• What I think you’re saying…

Example 2:

Them: “You have too little experience for you to get this job.”
You: “That’s a valid concern and it sounds like to me that you’re looking for someone who will get the job done in the time you want it, aren’t you? Most of my clients feel that way too before they CHOOSE ME and give me the chance. If I can get this job done for you in X days, would that work for you?”

In this example, you spun the conversation from them talking about you having little experience to getting the job they want done, faster.

Example 3:

Them: “I’ve never heard of your company before”
You: “I understand and what I think your saying is that you’re looking to find the best deals possible right? As we talk about making this happen, I’m sure you starting to feel comfortable knowing that I’ll save you more money and the get the job done in less time, does that work for you?”

In this example, you spun the conversation from them feeling insecure about your company’s reputation to feeling comfortable knowing that they will be saving money by choosing you.

Final Thoughts

You can’t control what other people say about you, your products, services, or company, but you can persuade them to change their mind.

Has there ever been a time when you needed to use this technique?

Has there ever been a time you persuaded someone to do something or buy something? Then the person came back to you a couple hours, days, or weeks later and changed their mind? This is a very common occurrence, let me explain. When people are influenced to make decisions by some type of “sales person”, they almost always have some type of buyer’s remorse. This happens usually because people tend to buy on their emotion, rather than logic. This is usually because the salesman was able to do such an amazing job with getting that client excited about buying. However, excitement eventually runs out, and the sales person isn’t always there to “re-sell them” on whatever it was they sold them on to begin with. So how do you keep a person committed to the sale without actually having to be there?

How to keep people committed

There is a brilliant technique called Future Pacing that allows you to almost magically persuade someone to keep their commitment when objections come up after the sale has been completed. The idea, like most of the concepts I teach, is simple.  What you’re doing is creating a scenario(s) in a person’s mind that may happen in the future.  So after you close the deal, you’ll need to rehearse a practical scenario(s) that may occur to this person.

For example:

Let’s say that you are convincing a client to purchase a car. They are a bit hesitant to sign the contract because their wife might get upset.  Right away, we know that even if your client decides to say yes, his wife might change his mind later. So what you’ll need to do is future pace the objection(s) the wife my bring up and teach your client how to handle them. That way, your client is working as your salesman, selling his wife on why he moved forward with the deal.

8 Steps to Future Pace Someone

1. Acknowledge their commitment to you
2. Reinforce the reasons they decided to say yes to you
   • Ask them ‘why’ questions. Why did you say yes? What made you agree with me?
3. Reiterate their response and intertwine them with benefits as to why they made the decision.
4. Add a couple more motives about why they made the right decision
5. Create a mental scenario of an event that might happen in the future
   • i.e. “If you talk to your wife and she isn’t as excited as you with the car, what reasons will you instantly remember and explain to her allowing her to understand why you said yes to me today?”
6. Reiterate and detail out their response. Use their response to create another compelling statement for their decision to say yes today.
7. Ask, “Can you think of any other reasons to use to influence your wife that you’ve made the right decision?”
8. If done correctly, your client is securely closed along with being rehearsed to handle the objection they might get from their wife who may object later.

Is this practical?

Yes, this is 100% practically and easy to integrate. In fact, here are some of the many scenarios you can use it in:

• Buyer’s remorse – People regret what they bought most of the time. Sometimes they just forget about it, other times they decide to return it.
• Significant other – When haven’t you seen a case of someone coming back to you saying that their husband/wife were unhappy with their purchase.
• Family – Family can easily persuade you in and out of choices you’ve made
• Friends – Like family, friends also have a big influence on what you buy. Their opinions determine whether keep or not.
• Events – Sometimes evens conflict with each other and one event must be sacrificed.
• Competitors – Competitors are almost guaranteed to try and sell your customer their products that are the same or similar for cheaper.
• Writers/Bloggers- They sell products online and offer 100% money back guarantees. What is to say that you’re customer won’t come back and actually ask for it.

Also, when you future pace someone, you need to make sure you have some leverage with their motivation. Use pain and pleasure when discussing their motivation, so you know which direction you need to take them.

Future pacing is a very valuable technique that can help you retain more customers faster. The more customers who keep your product/service, the more likely they are to recommend to their friends and family. After a person has made the decision, and an outside influence can’t persuade them otherwise, they will automatically begin to convince themselves that they’ve made the right decision. This all begins with your ability to future pace them.

Most people make decisions based on their past experiences, cultural background, and beliefs. Ultimately, every experience a person has gone through, significant or not, will play a role in how a person makes a decision today, in present time. Now this concept can be used both in your favor, or against you, depending on your approach. Have you ever read something once and then decided to read it a few more times because you were so compelled to take action? This time will be like that time, let me explain:

Several years ago, I learned a technique that allows you to get a person to think about a feeling they had in the past and use it toward your advantage in present time. The phrase “has there ever been a time when you…blah blah blah” triggers your client to think of a time when they “blah blah blah”. After you authoritatively use that phrase and obviously replace the blah’s with what I teach you below, your prospect will begin to think of that time in their mind and have that particular feeling in present time. Keep reading, even if you’re a bit confused.

Phrases

There are actually several different variations to this phrase, lets go over a few of them:

• Has there ever been a time when…
• Have you ever…
• Do you remember when…
• If you think for second, you can probably remember…

Obviously you can change it, mix it, or do whatever you want, but you get the idea. Ultimately, you want a phrase that simply gets your prospect to think of a GENERAL incidence int the past. The key word is GENERAL. In fact, the more specific you are, the less chance you’ll have at this working. So be as vague as possible.

Instead of:

Has there ever been a time when you were talking to someone about xyz and they turned you down?

Use:

Has there ever been a time when you felt rejected?

The difference between the two is obviously the vagueness. It’s important to be vague because your prospects aren’t your friends. Unlike your friends, you have no clue what kind of life, incidents, situations, and scenarios your prospects gone through. Does that make sense?

Linking

So after you get the prospect to actually think of that time when they felt that particular way, you need to link that feeling to the current situation or scenario. To do this, you use the phrase:

This time is like that time, let me explain:

Then you simply explain to the prospect how their past experience is just like this current situation. After that, you want to amplify the pain of the mistake they made in the past so they won’t make the same one again in the future (present time).

Whether you are beginning to feel a bit confused or not, let’s go to the next section.

Objections

So ultimately, this technique is most commonly used to handle objections you get from prospects your trying to sell xyz to. Whether you’re selling a house, selling a car, or selling vacuum, this concept works in ANY selling situation.

Let’s give you an example of one of the most common objections that anyone selling anything has heard of: ” I want to wait…”

Client: “I want to wait…”

You: “You want to wait, I completely understand. Let me ask you, has there ever been a time in your life when you wanted to do something, but waited, and then did it anyway. And then, you ended up spending more time or money then you originally wanted to? (SHUT UP and let them process this)

Client: “well….yea sure, who hasn’t”

You: “This time is like that time, let me explain…

You would typically use this technique toward the end of your presentation. Sometimes you can use it toward the beginning, but you just need to remember, being vague is key.

Do you understand what I mean?

See what I do is I take techniques like this one (has there ever been a time when) and combine it with other techniques, concepts, and strategies, and I use it to become persuasive communicator.  I created a book called 7 Day Persuasive Communication which I launched just a few months ago. So far, the book as been a hit and people are absolutely fascinated at with what they learned. Even Internet Mogul Neil Patel has read it and used in his business life with tremendous success.

You need to understand that your communication is your biggest weapon. The people who have the ability to persuade someone to do something are the ones who are able to become successful at a faster pace. The saying, it’s not what you know, its who you know is the perfect example. Knowing how to sell myself to important people has gotten me further than just working on a particular skill/trait.  So if you, like me, want to move further in life, advance in your career, make more money, and become successful, take a look at my book, 7 Day Persuasive Communication. I offer a money back guarantee, so you have nothing to loose.

So I’m curious, now that you’ve been able to learn a technique that you can apply in your business right now, how will use it? Have you read something this compelling before, but  disregarded it, and continued to live the same average life you’ve always lived? This time, make the right decision and follow my advice, you will be glad you did.

In what type of scenarios will you use the (has there ever been a time…) technique?

Most employees behave very similar to children.  They fiddle around twiddling their thumbs together when there is nothing to do. They grunt, moan, and groan when they must get up in the morning to go to work (children go to school).  And the biggest similarity is the rush of excitement they have when it is time to go home.  If your employees are acting and behaving like children, how do you think this affects your bottom line? How do you expect your company to make the necessary expectations to meet and exceed your goals?

Molding the Perfect Employees

Building a successful company begins with having a productive team.  Having a productive team usually comes from the influence of a great leader.

1. Add Emotional Incentives

Even if your employees are not working for commission, look for ways to offer some benefits for working hard and getting the job done quicker.  Many of you reading this have employees who earn a fixed income for a certain amount of work. From an employee point of view, if the work is done the job is done for the day.  An employee who has nothing to do can cause distractions to other employees who are working. Like a domino effect, this encourages inefficiency throughout the office. From an employer’s point of view, if an employee finishes their work early, they should be given more work. Unfortunately, since both the employee and employer usually don’t see eye to eye, the employee begins to work slower to avoid getting new work. Even if you do not offer them a brand new car, something is better than nothing.  Something as simple as allowing your employee to leave a few minutes early can almost instantly increase their motivation.  Some examples of incentives include:

• Go home 1 hour early on Friday.
• Better parking spot
• Extra break time
• Leave 15-20 minutes early on any given day
• Free lunch
• The most comfortable chair in the office
• Small cash bonuses ($50 or $100 can motivate most people)

2. Create a Positive Environment

The work environment alone can quickly change the productivity for everyone in the office.  As powerful leaders, we must ensure the work environment is uplifting, exciting, and enjoyable.  Zappos, an online retail sales company retains more trustworthy employees than a majority of the companies out there.  During an interview on Mixergy.com, the CEO from Zappos Tony Hsieh said that his company does over a billion dollars in sales a year because of their customer service.  To filter out the good employees from the bad, Tony offers his new hires $2,000 to quit and shockingly, hardly anyone takes it. Do a quick survey with everyone as to what type of environment compels them to be more excited to work there. Make the necessary changes and you will see a noticeably positive change.

3. Monitor your Employees

It is not necessary to discipline your employees for a sneeze that takes away 5 seconds from work, but it is important to monitor what your employees are doing most of the time. From wasting time on useless web pages to chatting with friends, pay close attention to how they spend their time during work hours. Preventing your employees from doing what they are not supposed to be doing can increase productivity miraculously.   Let’s say you have 20 employees who take away 10 minutes each day to do personal things on the computer.  That over 3 hours each day of lost productivity.  Invest in employee monitoring software that gives you the freedom to monitor everything your employee does from anywhere in the world.

4. Communication

Do you even know the names of all your employees?  Sure you are busy, but if I were to tell you that personalizing your relationship with your employee can dramatically raise the level of their  performance, would you do it?  All you must do is spend 5-10 minutes each every week talking about their challenges, hopes, and dreams. Having a well connected employee also makes it easier to address concerns or issues around the work place.

5. Create Teams

Create teams by mixing up the skillful employees with the ones not so much. Friendly competition can easily speed up the work flow and be fun for the employees along the way. Reward the winning teams each week with a free lunch, VIP parking spots or the other incentives listed above.

6. Learn the Power of Motivational Speaking

Imagine having Tony Robbins speak to your staff every morning before they start work. Do you think your employees will feel good and excited to be there?  Spend a few weeks reading books on personal development, leadership and public speaking and learn to be a powerful motivator.  When you have the ability to speak with power and influence you will be able to persuade your employees to continuously have a positive mindset.

7. Give Employees a Say in the Company

Have you ever heard of an incident when an employee had some crazy idea that was accidentally discovered and helped a company make millions of dollars?  It interestingly enough happens all the time.  Your employees are constantly working with you product/service every day, so naturally they will begin to develop ideas that can potentially help the company grow.  Let them know that they have a say in what goes on and you will begin to see a growth in your employee’s commitment and interest in the company.

The more productive your employees are, the quicker the company will grow. It may sound simple and obvious, but working on employee productivity is an ongoing task. Create a game plan on how you can implement these 7 strategies right away.

For years it has been the other way around now hasn’t it. The man gets up the courage to walk over to the woman and shyly asks her if he could do her the honor of buying her a drink! She says yes, you buy her the drink, if she is nice you talk for five minutes and then she wanders off to leave you alone with your right hand later that evening.

Why doesn’t this work? Well, psychological studies have shown that when a man buys a woman a drink not only will she never like him; she will in fact come to detest him! (Yes, the study used the word detest!)

So honestly, one of the most powerful methods you can use to display value to a woman (meaning that you are a man of value to society) is to get her to buy you a drink!

Crazy you say, absolutely insane, but the truth of it is that it is entirely possible to accomplish this.

Here are some very powerful methods that you can use to get women to start buying you the drinks!

1. Story time

Tell a story where a different woman bought you a drink. Of course, you can’t say, “So I was in this bar and this woman bought me a drink” and then smirk like an idiot. But by telling a story where another woman bought you a drink you show her that it is entirely possible and plausible for a woman to buy you a drink!

Here is a great story I put together that has so much persuasion and psychologies in it I know the open minded of you out there are going to absolutely love it!

Check this out. I was at this bar the other night and I met this really cool girl and we hit it off so she offered to buy me a drink. So I agreed and we walked over to the bar and I told her since she is buying she has to choose the drink. So she gave like this evil smile that made me worried, kind of like your smile, and she ordered something I can’t even pronounce from the bartender.

Then the bartender started smiling and I was like, hooooolly shit. This cannot be good. So the bartender mixed a bunch of stuff up and put it together and then I swear to god he lit it on fire, and while it’s still on fucking fire this girl tells me to down it! So we both downed it and I felt fine- till like 30 seconds later- I don’t think I have ever been that drunk from one drink in my entire life! Was a great night though!

What this did was several things.

1. It clearly showed that women offer to buy you drinks regularly.
2. Because I said, “So I agreed” it implants in the woman’s mind that I don’t just let anybody buy me a drink.
3. I compared her to the woman who bought me a drink. Psychological studies have shown that somebody is going to be way more likely to do something new to them if they hear that somebody like them did it also. So I incorporated this into the story so she identifies with this girl in the story and she pictures herself doing the shot with me.

The Final Straw

Now there is one more thing that you can add to the end to really send her over the edge and pretty much guarantee she will buy you the drink: Here is what you add:

I doubt if when you buy me a drink it will be that exciting but I am sure that with the creativity we both possess we can think of something.

If you look closely, this is a sentence made up of three presuppositions. A presupposition is a statement where you assume that the person is going to do something…for instance, “If we go to California do you want to go to the playboy mansion” is NOT a presupposition because you are saying, “if” meaning you aren’t sure. But if you say, “When we go to California we will go to the playboy mansion” what happens is is that since you are assuming you guys are already going to California people go along with it! (So instead of saying to the girl, “If we go on a date we will get sushi,” say, “WHEN we go on a date we will get sushi” and she will be about 60% more likely to agree to the date.)

So NOW, what we have done is put THREE presuppositions into this sentence and the advantage to putting three is that psychological studies have shown that putting three shuts down the conscious brain and lets what you say go directly to a person’s unconscious mind! This is a very powerful technique: So what were the three presuppositions?!

1. That she will buy me a drink.
2. That she is creative and finally…
3. That we will think of something.

That’s a fun little bit of psychology now isn’t it.

Also, if she answers, “There is no way I am buying you a drink” (and after all that the chances are very low that she is going to say that but if she does…) then just respond, “Damn! I guess we are going to be sober all night.” And then bring the subject up again later by saying, “Woo, I am parched! Tell you what, you get the first round and I’ll get the second!”

**By the way, just a quick funny story: When I was first playing around with this technique I was not sure I would be able to pull it off. So the first time the girl said, “Alright, what are you drinking?” I said, “Are you serious?” and she was like, “Yeah,” to which I responded, “And you are paying?” and again she said “yeah” and I responded, “Are you serious?”

It was a funny 12 seconds as I realized that this actually worked.

2. Responses

Here is another fun one I know you guys will enjoy. If the girl says, “Do you want to go get a drink?” or “Let’s go get a drink” don’t offer to pay, as she is testing you. Instead say:

“Yeah! That sounds great, I’ll take a jack and coke (or whatever drink you want)” If you say this with conviction as if you really mistook her meaning I promise you that it will work!

And if it doesn’t, just say the famous line:

You get the first round and I’ll get the second.

3.The 5 Question Game

Here are some games you can play that will ensure getting a drink from a woman:

This is a common game played by people called Pick Up Artists but there is no reason you cannot use it to just have fun. Here is how you do it…

• You: Hey, we are going to make a little bet. We are going to play a game- basically I am going to ask you five questions and you have to answer each one of them falsely! If you answer it truthfully then you lose and you buy me a drink. If you win I buy you a drink. Deal?
• Her: Deal!
• You: Excellent. So where are you from?
• Her: Jersey.
• You: How old are you?
• Her: 75
• You: Ok, what kind of car do you drive?
• Her: A Honda.
• You: How many people are in your family?
• Her: 25.

(Now at this point you have asked her four questions….so you say to her)

• You: Damn! (And reach for your wallet as if you are about to buy her a drink) have you ever played this game before?
• Her: No.
• You: Aaaaaaaaaaand I got you on the fifth question.

**Some tips:

1. Space out the answers, she won’t be counting and you don’t want her to think that too little time has passed. So if you space them out then her conscious mind is going to be preoccupied with answering and her unconscious is going to pick up that enough time has passed for 5 questions to have been asked!
2. It is important to reach for your wallet when asking, “Have you played this before?” because she will be so excited about winning that she won’t think and will answer automatically!

4. The #17 Game

This happens to be a really fun one:

You: We are going to play a game. Basically you cannot say the number 17! If you do you buy me a drink. Deal?

• Her: Deal.
• You: Excellent. What’s 2+2?
• Her: 4
• You: What’s 4+4?
• Her: 8
• You: What’s 8+8?
• Her: 16
• You: What is 20+20?
• Her: 40
• You: What is 40+40?
• Her: 80
• You: What is 80-4?
• Her: 76
• You: What is 76-6?
• Her: 70
• You: Ha! You owe me a drink! I got you to say 70.
• Her: No! You said 17 not 70!
• You: ….and you just said it right there! I’ll take a Jack and Coke.

These last games are ways of tricking the woman into doing it and are very cute and you gain a lot of value from them. I would suggest mixing the two up…or play these games for a kiss or anything else you might desire.

They are both very good although the one I gave you displays more social value. If you get the woman to want to buy you a drink it is higher value than if you trick her into doing so, although the tricking her also plays with her emotional scale so they both have immense merits!

Good luck and enjoy getting drunk as these will work every time. Fore more great dating tips, check out my book Dating and Dancing!

About the Author: Yehuda Neuman is a widely renowned relationship expert and dating coach as well as professional sales consultant for some of the largest companies in New York City. Visit stylesofthemind.com and follow him on twitter or facebook.

I would like to emphasize once and for all that if this was the case…if there was one line that would get you any job, there would be no such thing as the unemployed. But in today’s economy we see that it’s obviously not true.

However, my dearest friends, while there is no one way to tell whether somebody is lying, there are many indications that we are going to learn about in this article and when you put everything together, you can become a human lie detector! So with that said, lets jump right into it!

Establishing a Baseline

With every little trick in the book people forget one very basic precept, people are different! (This is called the Hawthorn Error, forgetting that different people do different things while lying). Therefore, while most people do in fact adhere to these guidelines we shall lay down you still have to realize the differences within people.

Allow me, my ill informed comrades, to give you a great example and also, to give away one of my trade secrets. I have a unique ability to tell when a girl is taken and when she is available, and this is again based on psychology. I am about to give this secret to you, get pumped: (This works for guys also ladies, it just happens to be that whether a guy is available or not isn’t particularly a concern of mine.)

When we walk into a room we as humans automatically look for two things:

• The attractive opposite sex people in the room
• Danger

So that is an automatic baseline that you can apply to everyone. For instance, most people when they walk into a room:

Females:

• Will primp their hair.
• Smooth their dresses.

Males:

• Puff out their chest.
• Head for the bar. (since they are comfortable there.)

Both:

• Scan the room.
• Check out opposite sex attractive people.

If people are deviating from this baseline at all it means that there is are circumstances that are changing their natural behavior (ie. Psychological reasons.) So if I see a woman who is not only not doing the things I mentioned above but is also in a bad mood, I can deduce that she has had either a fight with her boyfriend or has just broken up and therefore if you try to talk to her she will bite your head off.

If she is not scanning the room looking for a mate it means she is taken and no longer has to look for a mate, so it deviates from this baseline.

So now we are going to apply this to lying! Have you ever taken a polygraph test? The second you sit down they automatically ask you something called “Control Questions”. For instance, “What’s your name?”, “Where were you born?” questions that they can verify. What happens is they monitor your vitals.

WHEN YOU LIE SEVERAL THINGS INTERNALLY HAPPEN: PUPILS DILATE, PULSE QUICKENS.

So a polygraph test basically picks up when your body deviates from the baseline that the control questions established!

(So a great way of beating a polygraph test is to put a little tack in your shoe and at the beginning when they ask you the control questions, step down on the tack- this will automatically up your pulse rate, so later when you are lying and your pulse is high, they will assume that you aren’t lying and that you are just naturally nervous! This was the trick they did in Oceans Thirteen, but it’s an old trick lol. Cool no? Now you can rob banks and get away with it. Glad I am adding something to the world.

(Another way is to learn to believe your own lies…but that’s for another article).

So now, let’s talk about how to establish a baseline for somebody’s behavior.

Professional poker players will routinely lose the first few hands so that way they can learn when their opponent is telling the truth or not. Since them losing forces the other person to show their cards, the skilled poker player is able to tell what the person’s baseline is when he is winning, and therefore later in the day when there is a deviation from that earlier baseline, he knows that his opponent is bluffing. This is called, forcing a baseline.

So when you are speaking with somebody, ask them questions that they have no reason to lie about. For instance, “What color was your first house?” and then watch their response. Ask several questions like this and it is establishing a baseline.

Try this trick: Tell somebody to think of three thoughts, 2 of the thoughts are going to be true and the other two are going to be false.

Now have them think about thought 1, thought 2 and thought 3… here is the trick: watch the eyes. Two times the eyes are going to go in one direction (the two true facts) and a third time the eyes will go in a different direction (the lie.) This is actually a really cute parlor trick once you have gotten the hang of it.
We will discuss this a bit more when we get into Eye Accessing Cues during Lying.

Another example is if a person is shaking their leg and then stops shaking it when they start telling you something, that is a deviation from the baseline and it is a good guess that they are lying. (this is a pretty popular one by the way.)

Quick Tricks to Telling Lies

Alright, here we go. There are some very quick ways to telling when somebody is fibbing or not. (I like the word fibbing. Don’t know why, sounds more fun don’t you agree?). So yes, fibbing.

So here we go, put a lot of these together and you will become a pretty good lie detector (combined with the other articles we have on telling lies!)

1. Touching the mouth, lips, ear, or nose. When we are children and we tell a fib, we unconsciously send our hands to cover up our mouths. Which is why when a child is lying they will clamp their hands over their mouths, they realize that something evil is coming out of their mouth and they try to stop it.

However, as we get older we learn to control our hand movements. So that’s why a teenager when they are lying will sometimes rub their lips, grownups tend to touch their nose (called The Pinocchio Effect,) tug on their ear’s etc… Actually Johnny Depp happens to have a great tell that every time he is lying he itches his ear by slightly hitting it from the back. (Picked that up when I watched an interview with him…I later found out from a friend that works with him that he had been lying in the interview.)

2. Keeping eye contact- This is an interesting one. Many people believe that when we lie we actually break eye contact. But this is simply not true. Ask somebody what color their house is and watch as their eyes flit around searching for the necessary information. But when somebody lies, they have no reason to go looking for that information within their brains and will therefore hold eye contact.

Now, I would like to point how hard telling lies is. Some people, when they are lying will have different eye movements, (which I will get into in another article called, “Lying and Eye Accessing Cues” I am very original at coming up with names for my articles). Some people, will break eye contact, other people won’t. That’s why it is so important to establish a baseline!

3. Not making facial expressions- Think of a crooked car salesman. What comes to mind? Probably a guy in a tweed jacket with a big smile on his face. The truth is that we believe that somebody with a big smile on their face is lying when really the opposite is true! When we lie, we make as little facial expressions as possible since we don’t want to give away any possible indication to the person we are talking with that we are lying.

And here is the funny part. If you are actually lying to somebody, don’t make any facial expressions! Since we make the mistake of thinking that somebody who is lying is going to put on a big smile.

4. Excessive blinking- The amount that we blink is an indication of how much stress we are under. This is why when you are tired you tend to blink a lot, and it is the same thing when you are lying. You end up blinking a lot which is an indication of higher pulse rates.

Those are some quick tips that will allow you to start being able to tell whether somebody is telling the truth or not. In later articles we will be talking about eye accessing cues, telling through language, telling whether a story is true or not, explaining concepts such as leakage, facial expressions, and microexpressions. Basically everything you need so you are never lied to again!

Pattern Interruption

Wikipedia has a great explanation on what pattern interruption is exactly:

…a pattern interrupt is an action that changes a dynamic in a personal situation or relationship by making an unexpected change, resulting in a new, and hopefully more effective and beneficial, behavior…

Pattern interruption also blends in nicely with hypnotism and trance. This may sound funky and weird to you, but it’s actually as normal as anything else. The “pattern” is the  conversation or event that is taking place at that given time. The “interruption” is the new factor that comes into the picture that temporarily takes away the focus.

To understand how this works exactly, one must know a little bit about the subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is wired to automatically look for an answer to any questions you ask yourself. If you ask yourself, “Why am I so stupid,” your subconscious mind will look for an answer.

So when a person’s pattern is interrupted, their mind will begin to search for the answer to why and what is happening.

Let’s say you are convincing a client to buy your product. During your “spiel”, you decide to make ask a completely irrelevant question like, “hey did you see that show last night?”  This will catch them off guard and and your rapport will force them to answer. Then you continue with your conversation. Your client will begin to ponder about why you asked that question and what it has to do with what your talking about. Now instead of them being on the defense about what you are selling them on, their attention will be divided. Now it will become easier for you to persuade, influence, or convince this person to take action because of their lack of mental defense

Types of Pattern Interruptions

• Hypnotic handshake: This is handshake you could use on highly suggestive people
• Tonality: dramatically change the tone of voice for a brief second or two and you’ll find your prospect in confusion.
• Facial Expressions: Like the example above about making a stupid and funny face
• Visual Object: Imagine a door to door sales man selling vacuums You knock on the door and the customer answers. You say, “I am James with Super Clean Vacuums, and I’ll bet you’re wondering why I’m holding a bag full of dust and lint, aren’t ya?” Usually you won’t see a door to door sales person holding a bag full of dust and lint, because is out of one’s normal pattern. This will harness the power of the customers curiosity allowing you to take an advantage as far as creating rapport.
• Random Sentences/Words: Talking about one thing and then bring up a completely off topic subject. Then proceed with the original conversation.

Implementing Pattern Interruptions for Beginners

Your biggest challenge with trying the pattern interruption pattern will be about your level of comfort. Here’s the simple way to start practicing.

1. Educe a conversation with your prospect.
2. Ask a question that has nothing to do with the conversation. Make sure the question will bring your prospect to a desired state (i.e. excitement)
3. Continue with your conversation
4. close or pursue your desired action

Yes this is an overly simplified version of pattern interruption, but it will give you the basis on how pattern interruptions work.

Can you remember a time when you unknowlingly used a pattern interpution? Has anyone used it on you?

Energy and Enthusiasm

Besides the technique I am about to teach you, having energy and enthusiasm when you speak makes a world of difference. Many times, it’s not what you say but how you say it. This is hard to convey through text, but let’s say you are telling someone about a party.

“Hey man, there’s a party this weekend, you should come…”

Or

“Hey man! There’s this awesome party this weekend! You gotta be there!!”

Practically the same words but said differently can be the difference to whether that person comes to the part or not. Now to take your communication to the next level.

Tie Downs

Tie downs are small phrases or brief sentences you use after you say something that gives opportunities of interaction to your listener.

“Hey man! There’s this awesome party this weekend! You gotta be there!!” You love parties don’t you!?

Now when I added a tie down to this sentence, not only do you gain interaction from your listener, but the tie down you use specifically correlates with what you just said.  This is actually done on purpose.   The agreement can be in the form of a verbal response (“yes”, “of course”, “sure”), a head nod, or even attentive silence.

In a sales scenario:

“Bud, this tie looks great with your suit. It shows the type of professionalism that’s required to be successful in a job like yours. You want to look professional, don’t you?”

So if the client says “no”, they are saying “no” to looking professional. This is why they will most likely say “yes” to the question. By saying “yes” to this question, they are also assumed to purchase the product.  The best part about this is that it gives you the leverage to handle their objection if they say “no” to your close.

Client: “no, I don’t want it…”

You: “Bud, professionalism in your job is what helps in your success, isn’t it?

Client: “Yes”

You: “Well, that’s exactly why you need to get this tie. Let me ring you up. Did you want to do cash or credit.”

Implanting an Embedded Command

Tie downs are also a way to focus attention on the question form of your statements instead of the embedded commands the statements contain.

“You can see the power of this, can’t you?”

It leaves the listener caught trying to answer the question while the suggestion/command ‘see the power’ slips into the subconscious.

A Less Aggressive Approach

If our company could save you $300 per year on your domestic budget, how do you think that you would spend it?

Tie Downs for Bloggers

Since many of you are bloggers or people becoming bloggers, I figured I should show you the power of tie downs in Blogs. As I stated before, tie downs do not necessarily have to mean a verbal “yes”, in fact it can just be something one says internally. When you want to draw someone into a conversation, you ask them a question or something that allows them to participate.

Many bloggers naturally use questions toward the end of their blog when asking for their readers opinion on what they just wrote about or something along the lines to that. However, if they started using tie downs throughout their post, they would get more user interaction. Something as simple as a statement followed by a tied down throughout your post can help do this.

Have you ever read a long run-on statement that lost your attention? Sometimes even the best blog posts can be slightly modified with a few tie downs and make a world of difference. Tie downs give the reader subconscious cues to be ‘involved’. With the feeling of involvement comes participation. With participation, you will get more action on your blog. Whether it be products or services your selling or just getting people to click your ads, the more tie downs you use, the more active users you will begin to notice.

The Average Person

You are obviously AWARE of the conscious ways to speak to people:

• Be animated
• Talk about interesting information
• Fluctuate your voice to avoid being monotone

However, very few people are AWARE of the subconscious ways to speak to people.  Your mind consists of two parts, your subconscious and your conscious.

Conscious Mind

Your conscious mind is you being AWARE of everything going on around you during the current period of time. An example of your conscious mind at work is when you hold a telephone number in your memory long enough to make that call.

Subconscious Mind

Your subconscious mind is always working in the background. Your subconscious does things like run your body, run your emotions, and store old memories.  Have you ever read about the benefits of using certain words? Or purposely shifting your body to build rapport with someone? This is because based on thousands studies on the human mind, subconsciously, people are wired to act in a pattern oriented way.

You’re obviously beginning to see the significance to communicating to someone’s subconscious mind rather than their conscious, aren’t you?

Embedded Commands:

These phrases compel you to take action or do it now. These phrases subconsciously give you a command or something to do. These are words that are sort of like ticking time bombs for the brain. They are 1-3 words that are within sentences and have a relatively powerful impact on your prospects decision making process.

For example: It seems like you clearly agreeing with what I’m telling you so let’s ACT NOW so I can help you get what you want in the time you need it…does that work for you?

This is a very simple pattern to catch on to. Keep in mind that when you say this out loud, you need to put a unique emphasis on your embedded command. Sooner or later, after much practice, you’ll begin to discover a difference on our prospect’s action. This command is very subliminal meaning that it will affect them subconsciously.

• Buy it now
• Do what I say
• Sign here
• Sign up today
• Say yes
• Do it now
• Tell me yes
• Sign the contract
• Choose me
• Trust me
• Feel comfortable

Most people somewhat understand the concept behind embedded commands, but when it comes to using it effectively in real life conversation they fail. Why? Because as I stated earlier, your embedded commands must have a unique emphasis when said aloud.  Some people tend to simply chicken out. As you begin to practice using embedded commands, use more authority and conviction in your voice as you say the commanding word. You can even add a slight pause before and after the command which is bit easier to do.

How Do You Create a New Reality?

The answer is simple. Increase their level of awareness by using the following phrases and words within your conversations which will allow the person you are communicating to pay attention to what you say.

Awareness Phrases

• Listen carefully
• Pay attention
• Be aware
• This part is important
• This is where it gets interesting
• Check this part out
• Watch this closely

Awareness Words

• Discover (ing) -  Soon you’ll begin to discover new ways to make money
• Achieve (ing) – After achieving success, you’ll want to learn how to go to the next level.
• Start (ing) – If you start to think about what learning this will do to you, you’ll instantly become excited.
• Experience (ing) – After experiencing how amazing it was to skydive, I felt as if I can do anything.
• Imagine (ing) – Imagine learning these new ideas and applying them into your life.
• Able to – You’ll be able to apply this into your conversation almost instantly.

These are some words you can use to influence someone to become aware of what you say.  After your listeners start to experience the new level of awareness from your conversations, they’ll be more likely to do what you want or at least find you as an authoritative figure.

Yes, I understand that most people have seen these words or phrases and chances are, you have already used them in your day to day conversations. People use the language of creation all day everyday without knowing and thereby accidentally creating the response.  Now that you’re aware of these words and phrases, you’ll be able to deliberately apply these tactics and create the responses whenever you want.

How to keep people committed

There is a brilliant technique called Future Pacing that allows you to almost magically persuade someone to keep their commitment. The idea, like most of the concepts I teach, is simple.  What you’re doing is creating a scenario(s) in a person’s mind that may happen in the future.  So after you close the deal, you’ll need to rehearse a practical scenario(s) that may occur to this person.

For example:

Let’s say that you are convincing a client to purchase a ticket to go to a self-help seminar. They are a bit hesitant to go because their wife might get upset.  Right away, we know that even if your client decides to say yes, his wife might change his mind.

When you future pace your someone, you must

1. Acknowledge their commitment to you
2. Reinforce the reasons they decided to say yes to you
   1. Ask them ‘why’ questions. Why did you say yes? What made you agree with me?
3. Reiterate their response and intertwine them with benefits as to why they made the decision.
4. Add a couple more motives about why they made the right decision
5. Create a mental scenario of an event that might happen in the future
   1. i.e. “If you talk to your wife and she isn’t as excited as you are about going, what reasons will you instantly remember and explain to her allowing her to understand why you said yes to me today?”
6. Reiterate and detail out their response. Use their response to create another compelling statement for their decision to say yes today.
7. Ask, “Can you think of any other reasons to use to influence _____ that you’ve made the right decision?”
8. If done correctly, your client is securely closed along with being rehearsed to handle the objection they might get from a scenario which might cause them to not go through.

You’re probably starting to FEEL GOOD after discovering such a powerful technique. One of the best parts is that it will seamlessly be integrated in most situations:

• Buyer’s remorse
• Significant other
• Spouse
• Family
• Friends
• Events
• Competitors
• Writers
• Bloggers

Note: When future pacing someone, it is important to integrate the pain & pleasure concept.

Is this techique something you can use?