When we agree to an idea or proposal, it’s because there’s something in it for us. It’s hard to influence people who can’t see what’s in it for them. Sounds one-sided, but it is true. Call it self-interest, selfishness or whatever. It is only human nature to ask, ‘What am I getting from this?’

People will say yes to your ideas if they meet their needs or match their view of life in the following areas:

• Principles and values
• Beliefs and opinions
• Needs and wants

So Give People What They Want & Need

People agree to ideas and suggestions that match their needs or views of life. Underpinning all our lives are certain principles and values that we hold to be true. These become guidance for how we conduct our lives. They influence and mould our behaviour. They can differ greatly from person to person and successful influencers always take principles and values into account.

But how?

Notice what principles and values drive other people

Ask questions and invite comment and reaction

Check with those who know them well

Some examples of principles:

‘Integrity and fairness are an integral part of business dealings.’

‘I think that older people deserve courtesy and consideration.’

‘Moral behaviour is part of the fabric of daily life.’

It would be unproductive to spend time attempting to dislodge these deep-seated principles. Instead, harness them to add leverage to your suggestions

Beliefs & Opinions

Beliefs and opinions can be transient or short-term. Remember when you used to believe in Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy, giants, and witches? Proof can easily dislodge a belief. So too can time.

An early step on the road to influencing others may include having to change lingering beliefs or convictions before you can proceed further.

‘I think that BubbleClean washing machines break down more often than the Tumblingsystem range.’

‘I think that all politicians are corrupt.’

‘I never make decisions on the 13th.’

Each of these beliefs can be dealt with by logical questioning or providing proof or data.

Needs & Necessities

These are fundamental requirements – they have to be met if you are to influence others. Typical needs include: reliability, security, achieving a deadline, meeting a budget, keeping up to date.

‘Because of increasing competition, it is essential that we maintain an image and at the same time keep up to date.’

‘My team members are under great pressure, so it important to maintain their morale.’

‘The system must not only be reliable but secure, as well.’

Having uncovered needs, you may have to mould or reshape your ideas to dovetail with the requirements of others. Often, people have a hierarchy of needs, so it may be important to discover and use this:

‘Which is most important to you – reliability or security?’

Wants & Wishes

Wants and wishes are not essentials, just a wish list: ‘Wouldn’t it be lovely … if only’. But their fulfilment can be the cherry on your influencing trifle, placed on top with a flourish, after the other person has agreed to your proposal.

Depends What’s On Offer

Question: How will your suggestions benefit the other person?

The person or people you are influencing will interpret the benefits of your suggestions in different ways. Some will be interested in the features – the fine details, the nitty gritty of ideas. Others will say ‘How will I benefit?’ Others will seek out the advantages of proposals – how the benefits are different.

Features, Benefits & Advantages

No doubt you are familiar with the differences between features, benefits and advantages, but it is worth re-iterating.

Features

These are built-in aspects of your idea or suggestion – timing, costs, resources etc. They will remain locked up in your idea whether the other person agrees or not.

Benefits

These are far more important than the features of your proposal. They translate boring old features into exciting statements which show clearly how others will gain.

‘This new hardware is made in Germany (feature) which means that we will save time and money on spare parts (benefit).’

Advantages

These are comparative benefits e.g. – increased revenue, greater savings, and faster turn-around.

In Summary: The Benefit Balance Sheet

Most people do not agree whole-heartedly to an idea. There is usually something that niggles, however well you’ve addressed their concerns.

In the end, when we finally say yes to a proposal, it is because the benefits outweigh any disadvantages.

As you plan and prepare your influencing case, list all the benefits and advantages of your suggestions. Use them to tip the balance in favour of yes.

About the Author: Jonathan Farrington is Chairman of The Sales Corporation, CEO of Top Sales Associates, and Senior Partner at The JF Consultancy, based in London and Paris. He is also the Chairman of the Executive Board over at Top Sales Experts. His popular daily blog is read by thousand of dedicated business professionals – www.thejfblogit.co.uk

Chris Gardner (Will Smith) in Pursuit of Happyness

Don Ready (Jeremy Piven) The Goods

Chris Varick (Vin Diesel) in Boiler Room

Tommy Callahan (Chris Farley) in Tommy Boy

Blake (Alec Baldwin) in Glenngarry Glen Ross

Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise) in Jerry Maguire

Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckahart) in Thank You For Smoking

Joey O’Brien (Robin Williams) in Cadillac Man

Jim Young (Ben Affleck) in Boiler Room

Trent (Vince Vaughn) in Swingers

You can used cars, stocks, or just want to pick up on girls, but learn the art of persuasive communication you’ll be able to anything you want .

“Hi Billy Mays here…” If you live in the United States, chances are you have see his commercials or heard his unique voice somewhere. Oxi-Clean, Orange Glo, and KaBOOM are just some of the many products  you probably have in your home! I know my mom’s tried a few of his products before. In fact, I just saw a tub of Oxi-Clean sitting above my washer.  His voice is strong and powerful, yet so authentic and sincere.  This guy should have been #6 on the 5 Most Persuasive People on Planet Earth. What the hell is it about Billy Mays that makes you want to run, not walk, to buy the products he sells?

1. He  Grabs Your Attention With His Excitement

Of course you’re going to pay attention to someone who’s screaming at you. Billy Mays is practically screaming his lungs off when he’s talking to you. The energy and enthusiasm Billy has during his infomercials is contagious. People love to buy when they’re excited!

2. He Believes in His Products

You can tell by the way Billy speaks and moves his body around, that he believes in his products 100%. Billy would swear on his mom’s life if you didn’t believe the Oxi-Clean can remove the dirt and stains from your clothes.

3. Dudes Got Sex Appeal

Billy’s target audience are mainly women. If you ask a women to describe Billy, you’ll get answers like rugged, man-ly, and confident. 3 traits that make women go “hmmm”.

4. He Actually Gives a Damn

When Billy Mays is talking during his infomercial, you can tell by the tone of his voice that he actually cares you wear clean clothes. It’s because he cares so gosh darn much, that you instantly believe that he’s doing you a favor by introducing that product in your life.

5. He Creates Major Urgency

If you don’t call right now, you can never have this products again. The alternative version is that if you don’t call right now, you won’t get all these amazing extra gifts for free.

Billy Sells His Products Everywhere he Goes

Billy Mays Sound Bites

• Watch This
• Wood Drys Out
• I’m So Excited
• Clean Everything
• Right Now

A New Reality Show Called: Pitchmen

Billy Mays and Anthony Sullivan have an interesting show called, “Pitchmen” coming out on the Discovery Channel this Spring. I think Billy is an phenomenal sales person and we can all learn a lot. You can also follow Billy Mays on Twitter.

**UPDATE** Billy past away on June 28, 2009. RIP Billy Mays

Host of Winelibrary.tv, Gary Vaynerchuk has recently exploded into a superstar celebrity. He’s appeared on national TV shows like on The Conan O’Brien and just yesterday, The Jimmy Fallon Show. Gary’s also been in countless news stories, talk shows, magazines, and blogs from around the world.  He’s starting to do for wines what Oprah’s done for reading books. How is Gary able to persuade so many people to listen to what he has to say?

1. He Chose To Be an Expert in a Niche Market

Choosing a niche doesn’t only apply in the online world, it works just as well in every day communication. People are generally more engaged in a conversation when they realize the person they are talking to is an expert.  Gary chose an interesting market that no one really cared about. A smart move for a guy who doesn’t mind spending countless hours branding him self. After years of convincing others to acknowledge his expertise, Gary’s referred to as “The Wine Guy”.

2. He is Ridiculously Animated

I was recently watching Gary on The Jimmy Fallon Show and couldn’t help but to notice he keeps moving around. Whether he’s talking or not, moving his arms, hands, body, he just won’t stop. People love that! Most people just aren’t use to watching some act different,weird, or goofy.  By Gary not behaving like everyone else was able to compel others to focus on him. When people begin to focus on someone differently that the way the focus on everyone else, they create “character” out of them. People who are “characters” are much more memorable then people who are not.

3. He Has Authority

Whether Gary’s talking to Jimmy Fallon or to some random strangers, he is able to take charge and become the authoritative figure.  Most people are like sheep and would rather follow than lead. This may because they aren’t confident enough, lazy, or scared. Usually, when someone steps up to the plate, people are gladly willing to accept the authority and for a lack of a better phrase, ‘go with it’.  This is why Gary was easily able to become an influence to hundreds of thousands of people.

4. He is a No B.S. Type of Guy

Gary just tells it like it is and people respect him because of it. He focuses on his expertise and breaks it down simple enough for anyone to understand. You can tell that Gary stays away from the fluff during a conversation. He goes straight to the point and doesn’t waste anyone’s time. With no fluff, people are able to take full advantage of Gary’s expertise and take advantage of what he really has to offer: knowledge of wines.

Be Like Vaynerchuk

Gary Vaynerchuk’s success can easily be duplicatable if you willing to work hard and work for your heart, rather than your wallet. To reiterate the steps above:

1. Chose a specific niche, and become an expert
2. Become spontaneous and animated
3. Speak with authority
4. Cut the bull

Gary also has a book coming out in a few months which I recommend you reserve because it’s expected to sell out quickly. It’s called Crush It: Why NOW Is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion, and it’s available for pre-order on Amazon. You can also follow Gary on twitter: @garyvee