Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
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How to Convince a Girl to Buy You a Drink

How to convince a girl to

For years it has been the other way around now hasn’t it. The man gets up the courage to walk over to the woman and shyly asks her if he could do her the honor of buying her a drink! She says yes, you buy her the drink, if she is nice you talk for five minutes and then she wanders off to leave you alone with your right hand later that evening.

Why doesn’t this work? Well, psychological studies have shown that when a man buys a woman a drink not only will she never like him; she will in fact come to detest him! (Yes, the study used the word detest!)

So honestly, one of the most powerful methods you can use to display value to a woman (meaning that you are a man of value to society) is to get her to buy you a drink!

Crazy you say, absolutely insane, but the truth of it is that it is entirely possible to accomplish this.

Here are some very powerful methods that you can use to get women to start buying you the drinks!

1. Story time

Tell a story where a different woman bought you a drink. Of course, you can’t say, “So I was in this bar and this woman bought me a drink” and then smirk like an idiot. But by telling a story where another woman bought you a drink you show her that it is entirely possible and plausible for a woman to buy you a drink!

Here is a great story I put together that has so much persuasion and psychologies in it I know the open minded of you out there are going to absolutely love it!

Check this out. I was at this bar the other night and I met this really cool girl and we hit it off so she offered to buy me a drink. So I agreed and we walked over to the bar and I told her since she is buying she has to choose the drink. So she gave like this evil smile that made me worried, kind of like your smile, and she ordered something I can’t even pronounce from the bartender.

Then the bartender started smiling and I was like, hooooolly shit. This cannot be good. So the bartender mixed a bunch of stuff up and put it together and then I swear to god he lit it on fire, and while it’s still on fucking fire this girl tells me to down it! So we both downed it and I felt fine- till like 30 seconds later- I don’t think I have ever been that drunk from one drink in my entire life! Was a great night though!

What this did was several things.

  1. It clearly showed that women offer to buy you drinks regularly.
  2. Because I said, “So I agreed” it implants in the woman’s mind that I don’t just let anybody buy me a drink.
  3. I compared her to the woman who bought me a drink. Psychological studies have shown that somebody is going to be way more likely to do something new to them if they hear that somebody like them did it also. So I incorporated this into the story so she identifies with this girl in the story and she pictures herself doing the shot with me.

The Final Straw

Now there is one more thing that you can add to the end to really send her over the edge and pretty much guarantee she will buy you the drink: Here is what you add:

I doubt if when you buy me a drink it will be that exciting but I am sure that with the creativity we both possess we can think of something.

If you look closely, this is a sentence made up of three presuppositions. A presupposition is a statement where you assume that the person is going to do something…for instance, “If we go to California do you want to go to the playboy mansion” is NOT a presupposition because you are saying, “if” meaning you aren’t sure. But if you say, “When we go to California we will go to the playboy mansion” what happens is is that since you are assuming you guys are already going to California people go along with it! (So instead of saying to the girl, “If we go on a date we will get sushi,” say, “WHEN we go on a date we will get sushi” and she will be about 60% more likely to agree to the date.)

So NOW, what we have done is put THREE presuppositions into this sentence and the advantage to putting three is that psychological studies have shown that putting three shuts down the conscious brain and lets what you say go directly to a person’s unconscious mind! This is a very powerful technique: So what were the three presuppositions?!

  1. That she will buy me a drink.
  2. That she is creative and finally…
  3. That we will think of something.

That’s a fun little bit of psychology now isn’t it.

Also, if she answers, “There is no way I am buying you a drink” (and after all that the chances are very low that she is going to say that but if she does…) then just respond, “Damn! I guess we are going to be sober all night.” And then bring the subject up again later by saying, “Woo, I am parched! Tell you what, you get the first round and I’ll get the second!”

**By the way, just a quick funny story: When I was first playing around with this technique I was not sure I would be able to pull it off. So the first time the girl said, “Alright, what are you drinking?” I said, “Are you serious?” and she was like, “Yeah,” to which I responded, “And you are paying?” and again she said “yeah” and I responded, “Are you serious?”

It was a funny 12 seconds as I realized that this actually worked.

2. Responses

Here is another fun one I know you guys will enjoy. If the girl says, “Do you want to go get a drink?” or “Let’s go get a drink” don’t offer to pay, as she is testing you. Instead say:

“Yeah! That sounds great, I’ll take a jack and coke (or whatever drink you want)” If you say this with conviction as if you really mistook her meaning I promise you that it will work!

And if it doesn’t, just say the famous line:

You get the first round and I’ll get the second.

3.The 5 Question Game

Here are some games you can play that will ensure getting a drink from a woman:

This is a common game played by people called Pick Up Artists but there is no reason you cannot use it to just have fun. Here is how you do it…

  • You: Hey, we are going to make a little bet. We are going to play a game- basically I am going to ask you five questions and you have to answer each one of them falsely! If you answer it truthfully then you lose and you buy me a drink. If you win I buy you a drink. Deal?
  • Her: Deal!
  • You: Excellent. So where are you from?
  • Her: Jersey.
  • You: How old are you?
  • Her: 75
  • You: Ok, what kind of car do you drive?
  • Her: A Honda.
  • You: How many people are in your family?
  • Her: 25.

(Now at this point you have asked her four questions….so you say to her)

  • You: Damn! (And reach for your wallet as if you are about to buy her a drink) have you ever played this game before?
  • Her: No.
  • You: Aaaaaaaaaaand I got you on the fifth question.

**Some tips:

  1. Space out the answers, she won’t be counting and you don’t want her to think that too little time has passed. So if you space them out then her conscious mind is going to be preoccupied with answering and her unconscious is going to pick up that enough time has passed for 5 questions to have been asked!
  2. It is important to reach for your wallet when asking, “Have you played this before?” because she will be so excited about winning that she won’t think and will answer automatically!

4. The #17 Game

This happens to be a really fun one:

You: We are going to play a game. Basically you cannot say the number 17! If you do you buy me a drink. Deal?

  • Her: Deal.
  • You: Excellent. What’s 2+2?
  • Her: 4
  • You: What’s 4+4?
  • Her: 8
  • You: What’s 8+8?
  • Her: 16
  • You: What is 20+20?
  • Her: 40
  • You: What is 40+40?
  • Her: 80
  • You: What is 80-4?
  • Her: 76
  • You: What is 76-6?
  • Her: 70
  • You: Ha! You owe me a drink! I got you to say 70.
  • Her: No! You said 17 not 70!
  • You: ….and you just said it right there! I’ll take a Jack and Coke.

These last games are ways of tricking the woman into doing it and are very cute and you gain a lot of value from them. I would suggest mixing the two up…or play these games for a kiss or anything else you might desire.

They are both very good although the one I gave you displays more social value. If you get the woman to want to buy you a drink it is higher value than if you trick her into doing so, although the tricking her also plays with her emotional scale so they both have immense merits!

dating-and-dancingGood luck and enjoy getting drunk as these will work every time. Fore more great dating tips, check out my book Dating and Dancing!

About the Author: Yehuda Neuman is a widely renowned relationship expert and dating coach as well as professional sales consultant for some of the largest companies in New York City. Visit stylesofthemind.com and follow him on twitter or facebook.



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Category: How People Make Decisions / Objection Handlers
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  • 1FinalThought
    Wow...Yo Yehuda. I can't believe how many idiots are giving you crap for helping them interact with people. Like someone said, no one gives women crap for wearing make up and dressing in short skirts or acting like they love sports to talk to a guy they like. The men on here telling you that this is worthless or that you're an idiot are a disgrace and probably loners sitting at the club BUYING drinks for these women on here getting mad that some of us won't be a "free drink" ride anymore. hahaaha. To them I say, stop hating and if you guys are social icons, I suggest that you guys not return to a site that helps people who aren't. Come on people, THINK for once.
  • Casey
    with the 5 question game..asking have you ever played this game before and she answers No, techniqully she is answering falsely...she has played the game before being that she literally just play it. right??
  • thegnu
    i find it funny that when the discussion turns to men learning the same sophisticated social games that women play on a regular basis, people get offended.

    the thing about these techniques is that they are meant to open people up to you; what you do with that is your decision. i know lots of guys who aren't able to talk to strangers, because they're not good at the social thing. if you go up to someone you don't know, and play a game with them, it's fun. your goal may be to get laid, or it may be to meet someone interesting.

    and if it's to get laid, there's no problem, because the woman gets to decide too. or are women too stupid to handle their own lives?

    seriously, people. let go, and have some fun. if you don't suffer from crippling social anxiety, you have no basis for judgment. and if you do, stop criticizing people who are willing to work on their problems.
  • Santana
    The science behind persuasion is truly amazing. Too some this comes naturally, to others posts like this point you in the right direction. There only words but they can be so powerful.. a book called "The Game" by Neil Strauss is an awesome read about persuasion. I have done some work in the sales business and with some good words and some charm your a money maker
  • God
    I think this idea is directly taken from The Game. Quickest way to become a shallow, syncophantic, pathetic shell of a human being.

    Sales. How rewarding.

    You know what else helps you be a money maker? Learning to spell accurately.
  • kayala
    Meh. Sounds like you're a dick that's incapable of any feelings with any part of your body other than your cock.
  • thegnu
    you're a silly girl. how many times have you gotten a guy to buy you a drink and then snubbed him? because, had they played a game with you instead, you probably would've kept talking to them.

    what exactly is threatening about this?
  • Adam
    You're a business major, aren't you?

    I can't tell you how many business majors I go to school with are no strangers to language like "Check this out, holy shit, like, oh my god." I guess there's some accomplishment in saying so little with so many words.

    I guess this would probably be useful if you're looking to pick up on girls. The kind of girls that would probably go hang out with their other girlfriends and recall the story as such: "Oh em gee, pause the Tivo real quick, you won't believe this guy at the club last night. It was like soooooo cute. He like, totally tricked me into buying him a drink! He did it like four more times too, I was like soooo drunk. He was like sooooo smart."

    "Girl, he was probably one of those science guys."

    "I know, right? We like totally had chemistry. Ohmuhgawd, I like totally didn't even notice I did that."

    Lawl.

    I have a friend who is in his late twenties who pulls shit like this. He wears sunglasses indoors. He's probably gotten laid a collective twice. I think if you tried this on any self respecting woman, you'd be laughed out of the bar, at best.
  • jimbob
    stop commenting on everyones post this info looks completely untested stop being such a cheapskate and buy your own damn drinks and now you will probably comment back saying "it is just some fun to try when you are out..." no its not fun there are plenty more things i would rather be doing on a night out than saying stupid stories to girls to try and get them to buy me a drink...get real and get a life
  • Joe
    Hi, i am very new to all this stuff. From what i understand, a lot of these techniques of persuasion are used a lot by many people that have never researched these techniques in their life. So to have have a slight upper hand by using your mental ability is hardly wrong in my opinion.

    Jim bob, i honestly don't think these technique are used that much by men who can't afford their own drinks and secondly, you state 'no its not fun there are plenty more things i would rather be doing on a night out', that should really written as an opinion to save aggressive arguments, in my opinion lol.

    I honestly cannot blame any guy for trying, whether its for sex or for friendship, its fucking nature baby, we evolved from monkeys, we're all this part animal.
  • thegnu
    so you go up and talk to girls about the weather? do you ever play games with friends? these games work also if a girl tries to get you to buy HER a drink too. you say, well let's play a game, loser buys. it makes you more fun, and shows that you're not willing to just buy her affection. it's about communicating your value to people, and being willing to step outside of the box of daily drudgery increases your worth.
  • Lmao. Awesome.
  • jamrobillard
    I was pleasantly supprised to stumble to this post. That's my favorite thing to do at bars; turn down chicks when they try to scam you into buying a drink and try to get them to buy you one instead.
  • brandonschaefer
    dumbest most worthless information I have ever read.
  • Aw, no reason to feel insecure about it. I am sure you can make it work if you really try. Good luck and thanks for your constructive comment. Feel free to comment again in the future.
  • Oh, also, as a little afterthought that I neglected to put in the actual article...the story doesnt have to be interesting! We arent weaving a whole hollywood tale here...the purpose of the story is to subconsciously plant in her mind the idea that women regularly buy you drinks. So it really only needs to be slightly interesting enough.

    (And admittedly that story is pretty dull and you can probably come up with a better one on your own but this one has worked for me just fine plenty of times in the past.)

    Alright, hope you enjoyed!
  • dating head games: getting a gal to buy a guy a drink.
  • nope, something fun for you to try out when you are out and about. You arent seducing her, you arent getting her into bed, just out having some fun and seeing how much you can accomplish.
    Thanks for your comment. Feel free to comment more in the future.
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