How to Win an Argument

ArgumentsThe ultimate goal for an argument is not to have a contest to see who can yell the loudest, it’s about having the other person(s) believe and agree on your point of view.  Being a powerful communicator means that you must be able to defend your point of view. Here are some ways that might help you win an argument almost every time:

Clarification

These are some common words used in an argument:

  • Everybody…
  • Everyone…
  • No one…
  • You always…
  • You never…

These words are called universal quantifiers. They are used in arguments to build leverage which most of the time are not true. Be sure to challenge your opponent when they use these words because each time you do, you weaken their argument.  Also, now that you are aware of what they mean, avoid using these words unless you know it’s true.

Disclaimer: Do not be rude and abrupt. Using this method only works when you’re calm and collected.  You are not putting them down for making a mistake, you are simply correcting a mistake they made which overall gives you plus points.
This also happens vice versa. To keep your arguments powerful and strong, be consciously aware of the words that you use because they can bite you in the butt.
Instead of using the aforementioned the words, using the following words, will defend your argument:

  • Sometimes…
  • Most of the time…
  • Almost always…
  • You usually…

Whether you believe in his ways or not, Tom Lykis displays this style of speaking very well. Listen to when he argues with a caller that’s against him. He almost always wins the arguments because he uses words that give him room and maneuverability so to speak.

Staying calm

Staying calm is without a doubt very important in arguing. Being loud, obnoxious, or angry will only weaken your argument and you’ll find yourself repeating points.

Attack mode

DO NOT! I repeat, do not use profanity or insults or any type of attacks against your opponent.

Pattern Interuption

Pattern Interruption means to change the state of mind your opponent is in  at any given time. You can interrupt someone’s pattern by making a joke, saying something random and completely unrelated.  You can even use a random object to distract them or ramble on in long confusing sentences.  What this does it confuse your opponent’s subconscious mind.  Having their subconscious mind confused, is equivalent to them standing on one leg.  This advantage allows you to use language patterns. (which will be covered next week)

Winning

If your opponent starts to bring a new argument into the current argument, then your opponent is metaphorically being cornered.  If you notice this happening, avoid getting into the new argument and finish the current one.

What are some techniques you use to win arguments?

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13 Comments

  1. #

    This is so eloquently stated and might I add, helpful! Well put!

    -Janae

    Janae | December 19, 2008
  2. #

    Glad to hear. Let me know how it works for you!

    AJ Kumar | http://www.persuasive.net December 19, 2008
  3. #

    Funny that I found this post.

    I have used the clarification in terms of universal quantifiers. I usually ask, so you say everyone, have you met every guy on the planet or the 6 billion people on this planet. Its awesome.

    I think when people use profanity in arguments, it is pure evidence they don’t know they are talking about and are insecure. Which that sometimes ends in physical violence.

    tom | http://tomaszgorecki.com/blog/ January 20, 2009
    • #

      lol, I totally agree! When the profanity comes out, you the arguments over :)

      AJ Kumar | http://www.persuasive.net January 21, 2009
  4. #

    Very interesting. I agree with your techniques. I have found that no matter how obnoxious the next person is and how tempting it is to outrightly win the argument using any means possible, you will only end up making enemies with the person. It’s much better to make it a win-win situation. Thanks for sharing, AJ.

    Article Spinning | http://www.PlugAndSpin.com January 25, 2009
    • #

      Very true, when you have arguments that end up with yelling and nasty words, no one wins.

      AJ Kumar | http://www.persuasive.net January 25, 2009
  5. #

    I usually ask questions, and then ask another on based on the answer given, and so on. I tell ‘em “I am trying to understand ur point.” In the end the opponent makes a diametric comment or gets frustrated, – then I go in for the “kill.”

    Ace | February 23, 2009
    • #

      lol….nice thats a good approach! It’s like wearning them down :)

      AJ Kumar | http://www.persuasive.net February 23, 2009
  6. #

    Hi really enjoyed reading your article and was wondering How desperate are Dems getting that their best argument for their own victory is hoping for a Tea Party split?

    Claire @ Gordon Ramsay Stand Mixer | http://www.buyfoodmixer.co.uk/gordon-ramsay-stand-mixer.htm August 2, 2010
  7. #

    Hi I have a quick question. How has the teleological argument of philosophy influenced society and the way people view themselves?

    Barry @ Which is the best electric guitar? | http://www.buyelectricguitar.co.uk/best-electric-guitar.htm August 2, 2010
  8. #

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  10. #

    This was a pretty decent article! I enjoyed it, a buddy of mine wrote one too, maybe you’ll find it helpful, check it out here http://www.blogger.com/home

    Keep your argument strong! :D

    Biochemist1337 | July 23, 2011

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