How to keep people committed

There is a brilliant technique called Future Pacing that allows you to almost magically persuade someone to keep their commitment. The idea, like most of the concepts I teach, is simple.  What you’re doing is creating a scenario(s) in a person’s mind that may happen in the future.  So after you close the deal, you’ll need to rehearse a practical scenario(s) that may occur to this person.

For example:

Let’s say that you are convincing a client to purchase a ticket to go to a self-help seminar. They are a bit hesitant to go because their wife might get upset.  Right away, we know that even if your client decides to say yes, his wife might change his mind.

When you future pace your someone, you must

1. Acknowledge their commitment to you
2. Reinforce the reasons they decided to say yes to you
   1. Ask them ‘why’ questions. Why did you say yes? What made you agree with me?
3. Reiterate their response and intertwine them with benefits as to why they made the decision.
4. Add a couple more motives about why they made the right decision
5. Create a mental scenario of an event that might happen in the future
   1. i.e. “If you talk to your wife and she isn’t as excited as you are about going, what reasons will you instantly remember and explain to her allowing her to understand why you said yes to me today?”
6. Reiterate and detail out their response. Use their response to create another compelling statement for their decision to say yes today.
7. Ask, “Can you think of any other reasons to use to influence _____ that you’ve made the right decision?”
8. If done correctly, your client is securely closed along with being rehearsed to handle the objection they might get from a scenario which might cause them to not go through.

You’re probably starting to FEEL GOOD after discovering such a powerful technique. One of the best parts is that it will seamlessly be integrated in most situations:

• Buyer’s remorse
• Significant other
• Spouse
• Family
• Friends
• Events
• Competitors
• Writers
• Bloggers

Note: When future pacing someone, it is important to integrate the pain & pleasure concept.

Is this techique something you can use?

You think it’s bad having a few collectors call you during the day, Donald had collectors calling him round the clock (international investors).  Donald came to a point where he needed to make a move so he decided to call an emergency meeting with his investors.  Everyone at the meeting was pissed and looking to get their investment return.  What the Donald did was unheard of and completely unexpected.  He asked his investors, whom he owed billions of dollars to for MORE MONEY! Many investors decided not to but several did.  This was the turning point in Donald’s life because with this new cash power, he was able to make various smart investments which brought him out of the red and into the billions of dollars he’s worth today.

When a person reaches a point of being several thousands of dollars of debt, they change into a negative depressed state of mind.  Imagine what state your mind would be in if you were over a billion dollars in debt!  When life gave The Donald lemons, he made lemonade, then sold the lemonade and made huge amounts of profits.

I’m not telling you its okay to have debt, good debt vs. bad debt, or anything about finance, I’m telling you that there will always be a time where you have a serious down.  You’ll hit rock bottom.  Maybe even more than once.  People work so hard in their endeavors and fail to reach success, yet little do they know, their success was only seconds, days , or months away.  In the book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill tells of a story of these people who were digging for gold but decided to give up.  The gold was only 3 feet away.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GET GOING - “When the situation gets critical, those who aren’t weak-willed work harder and never give up.
-Joseph P. Kennedy (1888-1969), the father of (U.S.) President John F. Kennedy

Let’s put our conscious awareness to how our brain responds to our actions.  Keep working harder and smarter to make your dreams a reality.

I for one have several major projects that require me to work extremely hard.  I know that I’m literally within a year’s period of time before I make it big time.

What are you quests, adventures, endeavors that you’re struggling with to take off?

RSS Feed Receive Feed via Email

Embedded Commands

These are words that are sort of like ticking time bombs for the brain. They are 1-3 words that are within sentence that have a relatively powerful impact on your prospects decision making process. For example: It seems like you clearly agreeing with what I’m telling you so let’s ACT NOW so I can help you get what you want in the time you need it…does that work for you? This is a very simple pattern to catch on to. Keep in mind that when you SAY THIS OUT LOUD, you put unique emphasis on your embedded command. Sooner or later, after much practice, you’ll begin to discover a difference on our prospect’s action. This command is very subliminal meaning that it will affect them subconsciously.

Here are some more examples of embedded commands:

say yes; do it now; tell me yes; sign the contract; choose me; hire me; trust me; do what I say; feel good; feel confident; feel comfortable

Start your persuasive language by using embedded commands within the sentences you use on a daily basis. Remember, these word(s) need to have a very unique emphasis when said.

Since we are now adults, what do we do?
Where you are today is what you experienced in the last 5-10 years of your life. Where you will be in the next 5-10 years will be determined by what you do from now until then.  Even if you see yourself as shy, dumb, not good enough, or whatever you were negatively conditioned as, you can break through this barrier. To transform who are you are today to who you want to be requires an enormous amount of energy. The first question I’d ask you before you make this change: how badly do you want it? Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?
Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Deliberately place yourself in uncomfortable situations and you’ll begin to grow and be stronger mentally. Always ask yourself, “is what I’m doing right now causing me to be uncomfortable?”

We, like any business, need to be continuously growing, because if we are not growing, then we are dying. The World is extremely fast paced and doesn’t wait for anyone. You either grow as quickly as you can to move ahead, or be left behind.

What are some things you can decide on right now that will cause you to be uncomfortable?

Clarification

These are some common words used in an argument:

• Everybody…
• Everyone…
• No one…
• You always…
• You never…

These words are called universal quantifiers. They are used in arguments to build leverage which most of the time are not true. Be sure to challenge your opponent when they use these words because each time you do, you weaken their argument.  Also, now that you are aware of what they mean, avoid using these words unless you know it’s true.

Disclaimer: Do not be rude and abrupt. Using this method only works when you’re calm and collected.  You are not putting them down for making a mistake, you are simply correcting a mistake they made which overall gives you plus points.
This also happens vice versa. To keep your arguments powerful and strong, be consciously aware of the words that you use because they can bite you in the butt.
Instead of using the aforementioned the words, using the following words, will defend your argument:

• Sometimes…
• Most of the time…
• Almost always…
• You usually…

Whether you believe in his ways or not, Tom Lykis displays this style of speaking very well. Listen to when he argues with a caller that’s against him. He almost always wins the arguments because he uses words that give him room and maneuverability so to speak.

Staying calm

Staying calm is without a doubt very important in arguing. Being loud, obnoxious, or angry will only weaken your argument and you’ll find yourself repeating points.

Attack mode

DO NOT! I repeat, do not use profanity or insults or any type of attacks against your opponent.

Pattern Interuption

Pattern Interruption means to change the state of mind your opponent is in  at any given time. You can interrupt someone’s pattern by making a joke, saying something random and completely unrelated.  You can even use a random object to distract them or ramble on in long confusing sentences.  What this does it confuse your opponent’s subconscious mind.  Having their subconscious mind confused, is equivalent to them standing on one leg.  This advantage allows you to use language patterns. (which will be covered next week)

Winning

If your opponent starts to bring a new argument into the current argument, then your opponent is metaphorically being cornered.  If you notice this happening, avoid getting into the new argument and finish the current one.

What are some techniques you use to win arguments?

Throughout my years of studying human behavior, I’ve trained myself with the ability to converse with no fear. Having exceptional conversational skills is a necessity if you plan on being a high achiever in life.

To have an easy going conversation and start the process of building rapport it is best to choose a topic which is  relatively universal.   Before, many people resorted to using, “how’s the weather?” This is unquestionably no longer effective and is actually perceived as powerless.

Talk about food! It is a great conversation starter,  I have used this strategy for years and it works almost every time! I started eating meat after I turned 18! Most kids are excited about turning 18 because they are now adults, the can buy dirty magazines and cigarettes. I started eating meat! I was deprived of meat as a child since my family is vegetarian. I didn’t start eating meat  because I became adult, it was because I didn’t follow the same beliefs my parents did.  This was a turning point in life because I rediscovered my taste buds.

It is then followed by details on favorite types of food, their favorite types of foods, which branch into restaurants, then locations, which then opens up a million other ideas. The concept behind this is that people like being around people who they FEEL COMFORTABLE with. Many people like talking about food, so why not start there? Food is the New Weather.

What other topics would you recommend for starting up a conversation?

RSS Feed Receive Feed via Email

Has there ever been a time when you decided to write down your goals and then never looked at them again?

Why do you think that is? Beside the fact that only 50% of the world are motivated by goals, most people are simply too lazy, careless, or just forget.
The only way that goals can work are by doing one thing: TELL EVERYONE
Tell everyone you can possibly think of everywhere you go. The more people that know what your looking to accomplish, the more people that will indirectly hold you accountable. The more people that hold you accountable, the less chances you’ll forget about your goals.  Simple and true. You must still do the basics:

• Choose a goal that has true meaning and importance to you

• Write your goals as defined and specific as possible

• Have it in a place you’ll be able to see it every day. Place a reminder in your calendar to change the location every 3-4 weeks because having in the same place after a while will make the visual of your goals obsolete.

• START RIGHT NOW, not on Monday and definitely NOT ON January 1st!!!

RSS Feed Receive Feed via Email

A perfect example is the astonishing Harvard study in which several educators observed and studied the happiness level of two individuals.  One of the individuals had won the lottery and obviously as most people would be,  his happiness level was ranked at a 10. The other person had their happiness level extremely low due to a tragic accident that transformed him to a paraplegic.  Both of their happiness levels were given as obvious, but this was up until it was measured over a 1 year period of time. What’s interesting was that after 1 year, both the person who struck rich and the person who had became a paraplegic had their happiness levels at almost equally the same. The paraplegic’s happiness gained over time while the lotto winner’s decrease.

What does that tell you? This means that as easy as it is to say the external factors are the cause of our happiness…we are wrong. Happiness comes fom within it is a state of mind that you can choose to be in at any given time. The reason why we don’t is simply because it requires more energy. Sooner or later, you will begin to realize that if you choose to BE HAPPY NOW.., you’ll naturally begin to attract the things you have always wanted in your life. Don’t just try this way of living, DO IT!

RSS Feed Receive Feed via Email

Certainty - Humans are beings of comfort and complacency. It is true that there is no guaranteed certainty, however, we much want certainty that we will live to see tomorrow, that the electricity works, you still have your job.

Uncertainty – Ironically, with too much certainty our lives would simply be boring. We most definitely want the variety of what will happen next to had the suspense and surprise in our lives.

Significance – We naturally want our lives to of value to someone so we crave for the importance of being and doing what we do.  To one person significance can mean conjuring up a way to save the earth from its natural destruction whilst to another person, significance can mean having power over anothers life by threatening their life.

Connection/Love – Being alone or in solitude doesn’t have a positive affect on the mind. This is a feeling that most people spend their entire lives searching for.

Growth – To put this as simple as possible: The world is fast paced and wont slow down for anyone. Even if you ahead of most people, if you stop growing, the world will eventually catch up. Being the world’s richest person fluctuates so much because some people decide to grow quicker than others. If your not growing…your dying.

Contribution – The way to master anything is to be able to teach it. It feels in good knowing you’ve helped someone, some people, or an entire community.

Everyone places these needs in their own order. For some, one need is more important than the other. Prioritizing our needs in a particular order will literally alter the destination we are looking to go towards.

Googling the three letters, NLP, now produces more than 15 million hits. From an original idea of mapping communication, NLP has become a complete and useful science.
NLP is all around you, although it might be invisible now. When a commercial asks you to: ‘buy now’, ‘last chance’, ‘sign up today’, or ‘call now’ – that’s NLP in action. When a politician reads a compelling speech and pumps up his base – that’s NLP in use. Top executives use it and marketing agencies rely on it. Some of the best uses I have seen in practice are in infomercials and television evangelists. You can almost bet that whenever you found yourself drawn to buy or do something and whenever you have been strongly swayed toward  a different point of view, NLP techniques were involved.

The What, How, and Why

What does neuro-linguistic programming stand for?

• Neuro – refers to neurology, the mind, and the brain. It’s the workshop of NLP.
• Linguistic – refers the language, verbal and other, that we use as a tool in this workshop.
• Programming – highlights the ability to change (or program) with language – our minds and the minds of others.

Under the catch-all term NLP you will find many techniques to communicate, connect, and influence the way people think – what they think about and how they think about it.
How does NLP achieve this?

• First, by understanding the underlying mechanisms of thought – where opinions and beliefs come from.
• Next, by understanding the links between language and thoughts. This is done through modeling, or constructing relationships between what is said and the resulting actions.
• Finally, by distilling important relationships and techniques into methods that can be taught.

Why is NLP in such demand today?

It became obvious that NLP was more than a simple self-help and communication technique. Business people (especially salesmen) quickly saw the potential and advantages of accessing communication at a deeper level. NLP became a way to influence and connect with a level of thinking unreachable before.