Wouldn’t it be great if there was some sort of technique that can instantly transform your rapport building skills to the next level? Something so secret that very few people know about it or better yet know how to use it. To build rapport with someone means for you to be on the same level as them. In the same tribe. This means acting like them, talking like them, and also using the same or similar words they use.
Visual/Auditory/Kinesthetic (VAK)
Many of you reading this are probably familiar with what VAK is or maybe even generally how it works. Regardless to whether you do or not, I will teach you what words you should pay attention to as it relates to you building rapport. VAK, also referred to as representational systems are basically our senses that allow us to be engaged while discussing information, dealing with problems, thinking, or getting involved in various activities. To simplify this even more, representational systems determine how one processes information.
Most people are dominate in one particular area of VAK while a select few may be difficult to tell. Before you tell me that you’re one of the difficult ones, I’ll tell you that you’re not! Now read the rest of this post carefully to understand what I’m talking about.
Visual
For the people who are visual learners have the advantage of processing and comprehending information much quicker by literally seeing it in front of them. Obviously if their sight is their advantage, the other 2 areas are they’re disadvantages. For example, in a classroom, a visual learner would much rather prefer learning from charts, graphs, pictures, videos, or even live demonstrations rather than listening to the professor lecture the entire time. Not only would they prefer it, but they will probably retain less information with only the lecture. So for some of you parents who have kids who aren’t doing so well in school, it maybe because your kid processes information differently than how the teacher teaches it.
Words That Visuals People Use:
- analyze
- appear
- clarity
- conspicuous
- dream
- distinguish
- envision
- clarity
- examine
- envision
- focus
- foresee
- horizon
- idea
- illusion
- illustrate
- Imagine
- inspect
- look
- notice
- observe
- obvious
- outlook
- perception
- picture
- pinpoint
- scene
- scope
- scrutinize
- see
- show
- sight
- sketchy
- spot
- survey
- vague
- view
- vision
- watch
- witness
Auditory
Auditory learners on the other hand would much rather prefer hearing something. They may or may not care to whether they literally see it, but they will understand the information much better by simply listening to it. An example would be a student who would much rather just listen to the professor lecture throughout the class and take notes based upon what they hear.
Words That Auditory People Use:
- announce
- articulate
- audible
- boisterous
- communicate
- converse
- discuss
- dissonant
- divulge
- earshot
- enunciate
- gossip
- hear
- hush
- listen
- loud
- mention
- noise
- proclaim
- pronounce
- remark
- report
- ring
- roar
- rumor
- say
- screech
- shrill
- shout
- silence
- sound
- speak
- speechless
- squeal
- state
- talk
- tell
- tone
- utter
- voice
Kinesthetic
The kinesthetic learner finds the hands on experience the most effective and productive. These people would rather take part in the action and get a feel for what’s going on.
Words That Kinesthetic People Use:
- active
- affected
- bearable
- callous
- charge
- concrete
- emotional
- feel
- firm
- flow
- foundation
- grasp
- grip
- hanging
- hassle
- heated
- hold
- hunch
- hustle
- intuition
- lukewarm
- motion
- panicky
- pressure
- rush
- sensitive
- set
- shallow
- shift
- softly
- solid
- sore
- stir
- stress
- support
- tension
- tied
- touch
- unsettled
- whipped
What To Do With These 120 Words
Learning this is actually easier than it seems. The words listed above are generally the words that a visual/auditory/kinesthetic person uses. Obviously there are many more words for each category, but at least you get the idea.
Now, when you’re having a conversation with someone and you notice the person using words like “see, imagine, watch, etc.” then it is up to you to speak back to them using other visual words. The same applies if the person uses words from the auditory or kinesthetic category. If the person in front of you feels as if you are just like them, they are much more likely to be in rapport with you.
How can you use this technique today?
awesome post!
Thanks John! I'm waiting for you next one by the way
Nice! It looks like you definitely put some time into putting this all together. Good job. I'll try this on my friends
Thanks bud! Please do let me know what you do exactly and how it goes!
tq. cool article. you must be reading a lot with edward de bono's book
Cool post. My favorite work is “proactive.”
Great article. VAK is a really useful coaching tool. I also designed my webinar classes around it so everyone gets to learn how they learn best.
Thanks Ubey…actulaly I haven't read Edwards book but will definitely check it out now.
We generally know that people are visual, auditory or kinesthetic. We generally know a few “obvious” words for each category. Having 40 words for each category is very helpful.
Thanks for this post. Great graphic too!
AWESOME-O-MATIC post!
Learning to speak persuasively is a good skill to have under your belt.
Write On!
MELANIE
I'm glad you found it applicable
The one thing that the most successful people in the world have, is persuasive communication.
Thanks Promod! I won't take credit for the graphic, but I wasn't able to find out who originally created it. Hopefully these words in each category gives you the stepping stone to understand this about people.
Reallly, I would be really interested in taking a look at how you were able to do it…post the link if you can.
Thanks. certain words fortunately can trigger various things in different people. This is why it's important to make sure you have as much as you can memorized.
Hmmmm, now all I have to do is develop those 120 words combo, thanks AJ!
lol. No problemo Budi. Please do let me know when you come up with that combo
I think the most helpful way for me would be to print this off and reflect on it until I get better at recognizing who and what people are. This is a skill that will have life long value.
lol…Yah there a lot of words so that would be a fantastic idea. It's a pretty basic pattern too Tess because there are many more words than I have listed, you just need to learn how to distinguish the 3 categories.
Congratulations on being selected at BWAB! This post was a fabulous introduction – comprehensive and thought-provoking. It's going to help me in several endeavors I have going! I had read about the three types of learners when the kids were little in an attempt to help them and their teachers. It was a “Doh!” moment to realize the knowledge is so critical to business practice, too!
Thank you Betsy! Yah I think it's a practice that should be taught teachers to more effectively help students in the learning process.
When you get older, it's one of those things you just gotta know because of how much of powerful impact it can make in your communication.
I dig the reference to Homer
Hello AJ. I see you have come a long way since first beginning your blog. You have made some nice, attractive improvements. With your current posting on rapport-building persuasive words, your graphic is what caught my eye instantly! It is hot! There is artistry in it, attractive colors, and funky text – very cool. Coming from a teaching background, the visual, auditory, and kinesthetic areas of learning are those that teachers must always maintain in the forefront of instruction and planning. Your posting on this topic is very valuable to educators as well as the general public. I have printed it out for personal use and reference, knowing where my own strengths are within it, as well as intending benefits from it when interacting with others. Nice job!
Thanks Michele. My goal is to connect with particular teachers in efforts for them to apply this type of a teaching and monitor the results. I think if more teachers used this method, more students would be able to retain more information. I'm open to any ideas on this sort of project…
V, A K is good and really only the tip of the iceberg. It's part of the surface structure of how people communicate. If you ask a few well chosed questions you can get to know about your prospect's deep structure (i.e. how they think BEFORE they put it into words). Use that info and your sales results can skyrocket.
Greg
Exactly Greg….small changes can lead to something big. If not a day from now, 1 year from now, 2 years, 5, 10 etc.
Something must have drawn me to you AJ. I saw a comment you made on another blog earlier this evening, and now I've stumbled upon your blog for the first time. And this post is really well done! I like that you gave specific words to use. Thank you!
Positive people are attracted to positive people
I'm glad you liked the post. Just make sure you apply it in what it is that you do. If you want results, you must take action!
Hey AJ, thanks for the great post! I just came across your blog I wanted to let you know that I think you're doing a great job in teaching a topic that I find fascinating. I've been trying to train myself to use VAK more actively in my interactions and these extensive word lists will be a great help.
Another interesting thought on the topic: in Allan & Barbara Pease's book The Definitive Book of Body Language they talk about a technique called Neurolinguistic Programming, (NLP). To summarize, it shows how when people are recalling a picture, their eyes instinctively look up and to the left, for a sound they look to the right, for recalling a feeling they look down and to the right, and for talking to oneself down and to the left. Keeping this in mind while having a conversation with someone is a great way to quickly determine their dominant VAK area.
Avisha
The eye accessing cues, yeah, it's very powerful. It's really easy fore people to use this on others, but just remember, some people are kind of backwards. Ask a simple question like, “what did you do for your birthday last year” or “what did you do last weekend” That will allow you to calibrate the way their system works.
clarity is in there twice.
This page wasn’t loading yesterday. i tried viewing it but it wasn’t loading now but i can load it now. Is the problem on my side? Did this happen to anybody else?
It suggests clarity is very important XD
Very cool post. Im a third into my life coach training program and this has shown up. i have dipped my finger in these topics before. but now as my profession is materializing i can clearly see how powerful and beneficial these lessons really are. instead of just being mr cool haha.
VAK, all good but what about AD (audio digital)?
lol
aj smells
watt on earth r u onnn abwwtt??????
OHHHH AJ cucumber are u blind take yourrglasses offff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!